Scene: Local Restaurant at lunch time
(Three traditional Catholic friends eat lunch and discuss the past weekend’s activities)
How was your weekend?
Fun. The lake was really beautiful. Just got back this morning.
Looks like you got a sunburn.
What did you do for Mass on Sunday– is there a traditional Mass up there?
Nah, I had to do the N.O.
Ouch, that’s rough. Was it bad?
Sorta. The priest who celebrated Mass had everybody turn and greet each other after the entrance procession.
You’re kidding! After the procession?
I think I would have walked out– nah, I guess I would have stuck it out.
Where else could she go?
And almost everyone bowed to the tabernacle when they came in. One family genuflected, though.
Well that makes it O.K., then. Any dancers?
There you go. Did you kneel for communion?
No, I thought about it. But the priest was a bit surprised when I received on the tongue.
Cool, no Eucharistic “ministers”?
Nah, there were the usual eighty or so. (chuckles).
Were they wearing their dress sweatpants?
No sweatpants. But the cantor wore a suit with sandals and socks.
Did Father have one of those polyester table cloth chasubles?
Wow. I had a seminarian friend point out something about those I hadn’t thought of– not only are they unattractive, they’re impractical.
Well, they have all those chalices and decanters with the Precious Blood on the altar now, and the poor priest is wearing this huge robe with enormous flowing sleeves trying to maneuver them all.
Wow. Never thought about that.
Did people give you weird looks because of your veil?
No, I wore a hat.
Let me guess– Gather Us In; Here I Am, Lord; Table of Plenty; and Let Us Build the City of God?
Almost– you got the last one wrong.
Sing a New Song?
Man, I can’t go back. I just can’t.
Me neither. Wait, Paul’s wedding’s coming up.
Yeah, I forgot.
Is that Motu Proprio out yet?
Scene fades to black……..