Quasi-religious Support Group/Faith Community seeks romancatholicwomanpriest to collaborate in ongoing dialogue with bustling, 10 to 15 member congregation.

Duties include the following: designing rainbow polyester sashes and stoles; leading weekly reiki/centering prayer; giving interviews to local press against discriminatory, male-dominated Catholic Church hierarchy; providing transportation for members to gerontologist appointments; purchasing grape juice and focaccia for the table of plenty; and light vacuuming.

Successful applicant must possess: pretend ordination certificate, own robes, submissive husband/life partner, AARP membership card. Degree from discredited and heretical seminary a plus.
Remuneration includes fifteen minutes of low-level local fame, love basket offerings, free tickets to annual Catholics for a Free Choice Convention, and eternal regret.
Serious inquiries only. No Catholics need apply.