As a public service to my many homeschooling readers preparing for college entrance exams, I thought I would provide a few practice questions from one Catholic’s perspective (answers at the bottom of the post– no peeking!):
1. _______________ is to the traditional requiem Mass as “On Eagle’s Wings” is to the Mass of the Resurrection.
2. _______________ is to popular Catholic preaching in the 20th Century as Fr. Corapi is to popular Catholic preaching in the 21st Century.
3. Mantillas are to women’s fashions at the Extraordinary Form as _______________ are to women’s fashions at the Ordinary Form.
Now, some multiple guess:
Which of the following terms doesn’t belong:
Which of the following were abolished following Vatican II:
a) Requirement that women cover their heads at Mass.
b) Abstinence or other penance on all Fridays of the year.
c) Latin Mass.
d) None of the above.
What is the primary reason that Mass attendance dropped from 74% of Catholics in 1958 to 27% of Catholics in 1994?*
a) The sexual revolution.
b) “Hey it usually takes 50 to 200 years for any Council to interpreted correctly and really animate the life of the Church, man.”
c) Lack of women priestesses and married priests.
d) Any reason can be uttered out loud as long as you don’t dare mention the de facto suppression of the traditional Mass.
What is the proper venue for the Ordination of Women?
a) A river barge.
b) A reformed Jewish synagogue.
c) The Holy Gaia Tabernacle and Conference Center of Peace.
d) None of the above.
How many extraordinary ministers of Holy Communion does it take to distribute Holy Communion at Mass?
a) 15 (the observation answer).
b) It depends on many different factors, including the size of the congregation, the number of priests and the time allotted for Mass (the official answer).
c) The real question is whether you really even need a priest (the progressive answer).
d) None– are you kidding? Is this a real question? (the traditionalist answer).
Holding hands during the Our Father…
a) is really cool.
b) is tolerable, but don’t force anyone to do it.
c) is rubrically incorrect, but should not be suppressed.
d) is cause for a lawsuit for assault and battery.
What are the “Nine First Fridays”
a) The first nine days of my CHRP retreat.
b) The first nine days of my ACTS retreat.
c) The first nine days I’m assigned to work the fish fry.
d) The act of receiving Holy Communion on the first Friday of nine consecutive months as encouraged by Christ in His message to St. Margaret Mary.
What is the appropriate response if you dip your hand into the holy water font during Lent and feel sand under your fingers?
a) Write a letter to your bishop.
b) Write a letter to the St. Louis Review.
c) Write a letter to Jimmy Akin.
d) Leave and find a Catholic Church to attend.
OK, now the answers…
Analogies: 1. “Dies Irae” (or, the Sequence); 2. Bishop Sheen; 3. Flip-flops (“shorts” is also acceptable).
Multiple guess: d) is the correct answer for every question.
*(from “Index of Leading Catholic Indicators”, by Ken Jones)