Some time back, I had posted a piece critical of an answer about baptism given by an out-of-town priest in the “Dear Father” feature of the St. Louis Review. I opined that since Saint Louis has so many fine and orthodox priests, it might be advantageous to use local talent to man this feature. Though it probably had nothing to do with that post, the Review has been using local priests almost exclusively since that time, giving solid answers to reader questions.

Catholic Answers apologist Jimmy Akin, a layman and a convert, also has a blog where he answers many reader questions about the Catholic faith and practice. He is bright and articulate and knowledgeable on a variety of subjects, though he is not a traditionalist.

All this is well and good. But I have been thinking that what people are really clamoring for is a slightly insane traditional Catholic lay-blogger’s answers to the many questions of life, such as the following brain-benders:

Can I execute my latest Karate move on the guy who jams his hand at me during the O.F. sign of peace (Tempting, but probably not. Better yet, avoid the problem. Go the the E.F.)?

What is the best movie comedy of all time (Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid)?

What should I think about Medjugorje (Wait and see, but I’m a skeptic…)

In the Three Days of Darkness, how will I get blessed candles to light (You’ll do it ahead of time.)?

Should I say the prayer before meals in Latin or English (Is this a real question?)?

How do you get your hair so full and lustrous (Family secret.)?

Therefore, I am starting what may become a regular feature: Ask thetimman. If you have any questions you would like to see dealt with in this forum by a weird traditional Catholic, email them to saintlouiscatholic@hotmail[dot]com.

Thanking you in advance, I remain,

Your friendly blogger.