You know the tune, you know the lyrics. But just as Francis has changed the Our Father, so too has he now given us a less rigid, more merciful Twelve Days of Francismas:

(Skipping to the last verse…)

On the twelfth day of Francismas, the Francis gave to me:

Twelve airplane pressers

Eleven lectures given

Ten Tobin tweets

Nine toady counselors

Eight drug fueled orgies

Seven suppressed trad orders

Six Francis-saints

Five…Unanswered… Dubia!

Four Dubia Cardinals

Three days of darkness

Two living popes…

…And the fulfillment of the Fatima prophesy!

Merry Francismas, everybody!