Tulsi Gabbard on Suicide Watch

Or at least we must assume so, having filed a defamation lawsuit against Hillary Clinton for, well, having defamed her.

Of course, with Hillary involved, we are left to wonder whether Gabbard will commit suicide by shooting herself twice In the back of the head, having herself abducted and ending up in a river, or being robbed and shot by someone else. Although, I guess in light of Epstein’s suicide, she could just allow herself to be strangled by someone else.

We’ll just have to wait and see.

Just to cover my bases here, please know I am not depressed, not suicidal, nor do I do drugs. And I have no real evidence that Hillary is a murderer, so no need to silence any potential testimony. Realy, Hillary, this is a satirical post and I meant nothing by it. Please, please leave me alone. Thanking you inadvance.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I Present to You the Timeline of a Trad Catholic Family

One more photo to go, I guess.

I Must Say, I’m Impressed

I finally got around to reading the hit piece on the Traditional Mass recently published at the “National” “Catholic” “Reporter”. Seems to be causing quite the ruckus. I loved it! I never laughed so hard in my whole life!

I had not realized that NCR loved the Traditional Mass so much as to publish the greatest satire piece ever written, pointing out the idiocy of the enemies of the Mass. absolutely brilliant.

Has anyone checked to see if NCR has been bought out by Babylon Bee?

Things Are Not Always What They Seem

I share this photo of a painting I saw in Vienna’s Albertina Palace. It purports to be “Promenade in Arcueil” by Lyonel Feininger. But I wasn’t fooled.

This is nothing other than a painting of George Washington admiring the Constitution, while a young King Lincoln, unnoticed by the father of our country, plots to destroy it.

The Twelve Days of Francismas

You know the tune, you know the lyrics. But just as Francis has changed the Our Father, so too has he now given us a less rigid, more merciful Twelve Days of Francismas:

(Skipping to the last verse…)

On the twelfth day of Francismas, the Francis gave to me:

Twelve airplane pressers

Eleven lectures given

Ten Tobin tweets

Nine toady counselors

Eight drug fueled orgies

Seven suppressed trad orders

Six Francis-saints

Five…Unanswered… Dubia!

Four Dubia Cardinals

Three days of darkness

Two living popes…

…And the fulfillment of the Fatima prophesy!

Merry Francismas, everybody!

Question of the Day

Sign trolls itself:

As my wife famously said, “Mass in the Grass! The only way I’d go is if I had smoked it.”

I’m Thinking One of My Children is Ready for Homeschool

World to End October 13, 2018

I guess that settles it.

Sign Online Petition to Move Easter Sunday to Thursday

With a nod to the Catholic Movie Guy, I have finally found a way to square the circle of lamenting the senseless transfer of Ascension Thursday to Sunday, and yet showing my obedience as a Catholic to the authority of the shepherds who did it.

We must appeal to that same authority to make an even more senseless transfer of Easter Sunday to the following Thursday.

I mean, one of those feasts ought to fall on Thursday, right? And since moving feasts around doesn’t matter, it might as well be Easter Sunday. Those with rigid liturgical sensibilities could always have a commemoration of Thursday in the Octave of Easter, which in the novus ordo would be, of course, optional.

Think of the side benefits: those bishops who don’t really believe in the Resurrection could ensure fewer Catholics would be exposed to the concept. Those other bishops desiring to appeal to the cynical millennials could exploit the power of the irony of the situation. And hey, it keeps to the pontifical agenda of planned, newsworthy chaos.

So, fellow Catholics, who’s with me?

File This under Humor?

Sure. Humor. For your enjoyment, Meddling Catholics presents the Antipope Probability Calculator.

 

How humorous is it that when I used this calculator the result I got was 99%?